October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Good Morning,

October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is a topic that is very close to my heart as I am a proud survivor.

I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped.  If I had left her I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could ran, we ran.

Baby since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed it was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my doors to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me.  Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us.

Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.

  1. Threats – The abuser will threaten to kill or abuse the pet during the relationship or if left behind. (I stayed in mine as to protect Baby.)
  2. Isolation – Refusing vet care for the pet. Isolating the victim that the pet also suffers as it is not socialized with other dogs. It is as if you are living in a cage.
  3. Emotional Abuse – Giving away or killing the pet to take away her source of unconditional love.
  4. Economical Abuse – Refusing to permit her to buy pet food or vet care
  5. Legal Abuse – Custody battles over pets. This is heart breaking as they file charges against the victim claiming theft if she leaves with the pet.
  6. Intimidation – Harming or killing the pet and then saying to the victim “Next time it will be you…..” They do this to family and friends who assist with the victim and pets getting away.
  7. Denying and blaming – Blaming the victim or the pet when something happens.

An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.

So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.

Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.

October is also the National Month of Adopt a Shelter Dog Month so reach out to a Shelter and give a dog a new home, as I always say about Layla – from pound to princess.

Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from



14 Replies to “October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month”

  1. So very sorry that you had to endure and experience this…I am so glad you are a survivor and shed light on this all-too-important issue. Thank you for sharing your experiences and giving tips to help others who find themselves in an abusive relationship. Stay safe, healthy and happy. <3

  2. I’m so glad that you and Baby were able to make it out of your domestic violence situation. It’s so much harder than people think it is to break free. I, too, have survived a domestic abuse situation. Thank you for sharing about the cycle of domestic violence. It can be hard to just recongize that you are in an abusive situation too.

    • Robin am sorry to hear that, it is so hard especially when you have pets but I was one of the lucky ones to get away and I hope by speaking out it will help others. Be safe

  3. I’m so glad that Mommy and Baby were able to escape that domestic violence situation alive. Thanks for shedding a spotlight on such an important issue. Often times many people will say ” Just leave” and it is not so easy for the reasons expressed above. I’m happy Baby was able to witness the start of a new chapter with your Mom. I’m happy both you and your Mom are able to share your life journey together safe and sound with lots of love.

    • Thank you Kamira and it is so easy for people to say just leave, it is a lot more complicated than that especially if pets or children
      are involved. Baby and I were luck and having Layla in my life is the best gift I ever gave myself

  4. Amazing how Baby knew she had to get you to safety. I’m so happy you made it out and have a new life. Layla has a new job to help you in this next part of your life. Our fur babies definitely supply a source of strength. Keep strong and keep sharing your voice and stories.

    • Thank you Terri and by speaking out I hope others will know that there is a way, it looks scary but in the long run the freedom is
      something money cannot buy. I was so blessed to have Baby with me and Layla coming into my life is an amazing gift.

  5. I am so glad every time I hear parts of your story that you were able to get away with Baby and start your new life together. That being said, I honestly have so much empathy for those that feel trapped because of their pets. I can’t imagine how hard that would be. As you said, they don’t understand what is happening or that they aren’t at fault which is heartbreaking. Silence only empowers the abusers to keep going – by breaking this silence and speaking up the way you are here, you are going to help so many people.

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