Month: October 2020

October is over but our voice will never be silenced

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TGIF !!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe November is around the corner, this year is going too fast but hopefully it is a good sign and our lives will go back to normal soon. This hibernating is getting too much.


With October ending it is the ending of Domestic Violence Awareness Month although we must keep speaking out, using our voice for those that are being abused, whether humans or pets as they need our voices. 


The end of October means Halloween which is not being celebrated this year the way it normally is, my heart does go out to the kids that are missing out but am sure parents are relieved there will be no sugar rushes and fighting over candies.


Halloween can be dangerous for our pets so please look after them, make sure they are safe and do not get into anything toxic.

Plus please keep your black cats safe from the lunatics.


Happy Halloween Everyone, Take care and be safe,

Layla and Me 

Pets in Shelters

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Happy Friday to all our friends, the week is over and the weekend is beginning phew.


As most of you know I am doing at the moment a workshop to become a Domestic Violence Advocate and as this month is Domestic Violence Awareness month I want to discuss having a pet in a shelter.


This is a subject that I have seen discussed on many groups on Facebook, and how important it is for a survivor to have her pet with her in the shelter so am going to share my story here.


I was fortunate to be able to take Baby into the shelter with me towards the end of my stay, before I moved over to another shelter and then transitional housing.


It was fantastic having her with me again and I was really blessed but people also need to understand Shelter policies also so I do understand why shelters say no. They are not being selfish but in a way practical and this is why :


01.There are children in shelters who are going through trauma and might be afraid of pets 

02. Allergies from pets

03.  The shelter staff are overloaded already so if you are running around sorting out your life you are adding another burden to the staff as your pet is in your room.

04. Shelters have curfews so if your pet needs to go potty at night you cannot take him/her out.

05. Not all shelters can you give you a single room so you might be sharing with someone who does not like pets.


When I was in the shelter with Baby I took her out just before the curfew started, I had my own room which made it easier but her food and water was in my room, she was not allowed in the public areas because of the reasons I listed above, when we did go out she was on leash and was on leash when we got back till we got to my room.


This is food for thought and that is why in so many ways I feel there should be some kind of program for the pets to ease it for everyone and I do know that some shelters are slowly opening their doors to pets.


Would love to hear your input on this.


Last Friday Layla and I with friends went for a picnic in Golden Gate Park. It was a beautiful evening, relaxing, good food and lots of laughs. It was just what we needed and a beautiful start to a weekend.

What I did for Layla’s food was instead of taking her home made food I took with me Freeze Dried Kibbles which she thinks are treats from Raw Paws Pet Food – she loves them. The flavor I had was Beef and then I had with me as a treat their Freeze Dried Minnows which she cannot get enough of.

You can see their awesome products on their website plus you have a coupon for shopping : Layla15 – Happy Shopping

https://www.rawpawspetfood.com/


This weekend our plans are to go to the Shih Tzu Meetup which I am really looking forward to as it is a different park and I love that park as it is so big you can do social distancing.


Have a wonderful weekend everyone, be safe

With a woof and love from Layla

Living with an abuser

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TGIF !!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday is here and we are having a heat wave and it’s hot that I am melting so Mom has all the fans going, a cooling mat and lots of cold water. We have not been out much because of the heat.


I am aware that many of you have read about Baby but I wanted to share with you what it is like to live in a Domestic Violence Relationship with a dog (pet) who is your furkid.

We adopted Baby from a shelter, she was the best thing that happened to me when I was in the relationship as I finally had someone who loved me unconditionally and gave me someone to look after plus so much more.

wearing one of the sweaters I knitted

My abuser did nothing for her but buy her some clothes, and I was fortunate to get money to buy her food although when possible I would share my chicken with her. She was a cute little dog, very good and walked off leash all the time. 


The major plus with having her was my ex never walked her so I was able to get out of the house and walk her alone which was a time for me to breathe and try to relax as much as possible without the verbal abuse. She loved those walks as much as I did as there was no tension in the air. 


My ex would hit her with a newspaper whenever possible for no reason, she would be locked out of the house in the heat for no reason (I many times was locked out with her), and I was threatened all the time that if she got sick there would be no vets and she would be put down only.


I was always relieved when my ex was at work as I would do everything to spoil her and keep her as happy as possible, fearing the time when my ex would return home.

When I decided to run, and like many, I could not leave her behind, and that is why I took my time leaving as I wanted to know that she would be safe with me wherever we went. I had even packed a tent just in case and I would have slept on the streets if I had to although we were fortunate. The rest is history and I have shared with you in many other blogs.

Layla for me is a blessing, when I rescued her I vowed our house would be happy, stress free and I feel sometimes out of guilt because what I went through with Baby I spoil Layla as much as possible and have in so many ways become her slave LOL but I have no regrets either.


Last weekend we finally managed to have a little adventure and went to Golden Gate Park with a friend, the weather was cool, I had my coffee and we just relaxed outdoors in the shade which was heaven. Layla of course wandered around a bit and then she did her park thing, lie down and watch the world go by. It was the best gift I could have had just being outdoors breathing fresh air.

What Layla does not know is that we are going for an evening picnic today to the park again and I am so looking forward to it. 


So once again I am telling everyone if you know someone in an abusive relationship, reach out, tell them you are there for them if they need it,  and even if they do not immediately take up your offer, them knowing you are there is very comforting for them.


Here is the link for the National Domestic Violence Hotline :
https://www.thehotline.org/

Be safe, take care and have a wonderful weekend Layla 

Running from a Domestic Violence Relationship

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TGIF !!!


As you know October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am sharing my story today again as it is 10 years since Baby passed away and feel, she being my hero should be remembered.


It is easy to tell victims to run but it is a complicated process and can be very difficult especially if your abuser controls the finances so something I always tell victims is hide somewhere in the house or outdoors if safe, a small bag with your documents and whatever cash you can save. Put in that bag whatever your abuser will not not notice is missing as to not cause anymore friction in the house. 

If you can and a friend or family are aware of the situation talk to them about helping you get away if you do not have a car and try to carefully plan whatever you can ahead which will help making the hard decision a little bit easier.


Please note that there is a shortage of rooms in shelters so try have a back up plan so that you do not land up on the streets and try find someone to take your pets that they will be safe. An abuser will not hesitate to harm your pets if you run and they are our furkids so we need to make sure they are safe.


Baby was my hero, she had kept me alive during the relationship, because of her I was able to go for walks and so much more. She kept me alive and thank goodness I had her in my life. 

When I ran I was fortunate to have a friend who picked me up from the house with my dog and hid me at her place till I could get out of the city. I did not have money as my ex controlled the finances so whatever I had was very limited but I sold jewellery to help me buy a ticket to get out of the city where I was living.


Upon arriving in San Francisco I found that shelters did not allow dogs so a wonderful Domestic Violence Organization stepped in to foster her while I was sorting myself out. Since I ran things are changing and slowly pets are being included and the DV organizations are talking more about pets and assisting those that have them.  


She joined me in the shelter about 2 months after I got there, stayed with me in  transitional housing and then we finally moved to our own home, a place to live happily with no drama, a peaceful happy home. 
About 3 months after we got into our own home, she suddenly contracted IMHA and within 48 hours passed away, 5 October 2010. It was one of the hardest days in my life as my angel had gone and I was left alone trying to sort my life out. 


My home was empty, lonely and I felt that it was not fair that when I finally could give her everything she left me but as a friend of mine said to me : She came into your life when you both needed each other (she was a rescue) and left you when you were safe so that you could open your home to a new furkid.


Three months later it happened and I rescued Layla and the rest is history.
So what I have decided to do is to give back and at the moment I am doing a workshop to become a Domestic Violence Advocate so that I can hopefully help others, pets included and be their voice.


If you know anyone that is in an abusive relationship, reach out, offer help and then let them decide what they want to do, BUT if they know that you are there for them and their pets it will hopefully make the decision a lot easier.


Take care everyone, be safe and remember you are not alone,
With a woof and love from Layla

The Domestic Violence Hotline : https://www.thehotline.org/

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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October has arrived, an important month in my calendar as it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a month when Layla wears her purple harness to make a statement.


I am a proud Domestic Violence Survivor and this month we speak out about abuse, violence against women and children and by doing so we pray that if one victim reads our blog and it helps her we have done a Mitzvah. (Mitzvah is Hebrew for a good deed).

Domestic Violence has been going on for years, through the centuries, but it is only in the last 40 years or so that organizations started forming to help victims, give them a safe place, assistance with starting their life over and so much more.These women that work in the different organizations I call heroes as they do such amazing work they deserve a big shout out.


When we speak about it, we must not forget that many pets are stuck in the middle of Domestic Violence relationships and they do not have a voice so we need to be theirs. 


Many women stay in the relationships for their pets safety and I was one of them, I would not leave my pet behind as it would mean me abandoning my pet who was like a child to me. She had kept me going through it all so how could I leave her !


Unfortunately having a pet does make it harder as there are very few programs/shelters that accept pets and that is something that needs to be changed. As I always say if mothers would not leave their kids why should furmoms leave their furkids behind. 


If you know anyone in a relationship, reach out to them so that they know there is someone there for them, give them the below link :

Domestic Violence Hotline : https://www.thehotline.org/

You cannot force a person to leave the relationship but letting them know they are not alone, is sowing the seed in their brain that it is possible.


Please take care everyone, be safe and most of all remember it might be scary but in the long run life becomes easier, happier and you are free,

With a woof and love Layla