Good Morning,
October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is a topic that is very close to my heart as I am a proud survivor.
I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped. If I had left her I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could run, we ran.
Baby since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed it was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my doors to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me. Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us. Layla as you know has since crossed the Rainbow Bridge so Nili wears the Shelter Survivor Tag as it speaks for me and for her as she was rescued from a shelter.
Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.
- Threats – The abuser will threaten to kill or abuse the pet during the relationship or if left behind. (I stayed in mine as to protect Baby.)
- Isolation – Refusing vet care for the pet. Isolating the victim that the pet also suffers as it is not socialized with other dogs. It is as if you are living in a cage.
- Emotional Abuse – Giving away or killing the pet to take away her source of unconditional love.
- Economical Abuse – Refusing to permit her to buy pet food or vet care
- Legal Abuse – Custody battles over pets. This is heart breaking as they file charges against the victim claiming theft if she leaves with the pet.
- Intimidation – Harming or killing the pet and then saying to the victim “Next time it will be you…..” They do this to family and friends who assist with the victim and pets getting away.
- Denying and blaming – Blaming the victim or the pet when something happens.
An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.
So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.
Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.
October is also the National Month of Adopt a Shelter Dog Month so reach out to a Shelter and give a dog a new home, as I always say about Layla – from pound to princess.
Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from
Nili
