Living with an abuser

TGIF !!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday is here and we are having a heat wave and it’s hot that I am melting so Mom has all the fans going, a cooling mat and lots of cold water. We have not been out much because of the heat.


I am aware that many of you have read about Baby but I wanted to share with you what it is like to live in a Domestic Violence Relationship with a dog (pet) who is your furkid.

We adopted Baby from a shelter, she was the best thing that happened to me when I was in the relationship as I finally had someone who loved me unconditionally and gave me someone to look after plus so much more.

wearing one of the sweaters I knitted

My abuser did nothing for her but buy her some clothes, and I was fortunate to get money to buy her food although when possible I would share my chicken with her. She was a cute little dog, very good and walked off leash all the time. 


The major plus with having her was my ex never walked her so I was able to get out of the house and walk her alone which was a time for me to breathe and try to relax as much as possible without the verbal abuse. She loved those walks as much as I did as there was no tension in the air. 


My ex would hit her with a newspaper whenever possible for no reason, she would be locked out of the house in the heat for no reason (I many times was locked out with her), and I was threatened all the time that if she got sick there would be no vets and she would be put down only.


I was always relieved when my ex was at work as I would do everything to spoil her and keep her as happy as possible, fearing the time when my ex would return home.

When I decided to run, and like many, I could not leave her behind, and that is why I took my time leaving as I wanted to know that she would be safe with me wherever we went. I had even packed a tent just in case and I would have slept on the streets if I had to although we were fortunate. The rest is history and I have shared with you in many other blogs.

Layla for me is a blessing, when I rescued her I vowed our house would be happy, stress free and I feel sometimes out of guilt because what I went through with Baby I spoil Layla as much as possible and have in so many ways become her slave LOL but I have no regrets either.


Last weekend we finally managed to have a little adventure and went to Golden Gate Park with a friend, the weather was cool, I had my coffee and we just relaxed outdoors in the shade which was heaven. Layla of course wandered around a bit and then she did her park thing, lie down and watch the world go by. It was the best gift I could have had just being outdoors breathing fresh air.

What Layla does not know is that we are going for an evening picnic today to the park again and I am so looking forward to it. 


So once again I am telling everyone if you know someone in an abusive relationship, reach out, tell them you are there for them if they need it,  and even if they do not immediately take up your offer, them knowing you are there is very comforting for them.


Here is the link for the National Domestic Violence Hotline :
https://www.thehotline.org/

Be safe, take care and have a wonderful weekend Layla 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October has arrived, an important month in my calendar as it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a month when Layla wears her purple harness to make a statement.


I am a proud Domestic Violence Survivor and this month we speak out about abuse, violence against women and children and by doing so we pray that if one victim reads our blog and it helps her we have done a Mitzvah. (Mitzvah is Hebrew for a good deed).

Domestic Violence has been going on for years, through the centuries, but it is only in the last 40 years or so that organizations started forming to help victims, give them a safe place, assistance with starting their life over and so much more.These women that work in the different organizations I call heroes as they do such amazing work they deserve a big shout out.


When we speak about it, we must not forget that many pets are stuck in the middle of Domestic Violence relationships and they do not have a voice so we need to be theirs. 


Many women stay in the relationships for their pets safety and I was one of them, I would not leave my pet behind as it would mean me abandoning my pet who was like a child to me. She had kept me going through it all so how could I leave her !


Unfortunately having a pet does make it harder as there are very few programs/shelters that accept pets and that is something that needs to be changed. As I always say if mothers would not leave their kids why should furmoms leave their furkids behind. 


If you know anyone in a relationship, reach out to them so that they know there is someone there for them, give them the below link :

Domestic Violence Hotline : https://www.thehotline.org/

You cannot force a person to leave the relationship but letting them know they are not alone, is sowing the seed in their brain that it is possible.


Please take care everyone, be safe and most of all remember it might be scary but in the long run life becomes easier, happier and you are free,

With a woof and love Layla 

Boss vs Slave

Good Morning friends,


Layla is slowly on the mend and oy vey is she a little bossy one, it is either her way or no way so I now know she is on the mend.
This past week I have battled with the vet clinic to transfer prescriptions over to a pharmacy near my house so that I do not have to take public transport to pick them up, the pharmacy is across from my house which makes life so much easier. The major plus is the prices of the medications are a third of what I have been paying, what a difference. I picked up one today that cost me like 5 dollars and I paid at the vet about 30 dollars, it all adds up in the end.


She has become very smart and knows what time she gets her meds so she now hides in her box at those hours so I cannot get to her. It is funny and frustrating as she is a real little Madam and her slave, that is me, is exhausted with the fighting over it LOL. So I found a solution especially for the evenings,  one of my neighbors in the building knocks on the door, she runs to the door and I catch her, meds she gets then HA, I thought I had outsmarted her with that till she realized the game and last night did not move. I am not sure whether to laugh or cry when she does that as I am trying so hard to stick to the medication schedule. The good thing is my vet told me another week and I can stop them and keep an eye on her and if she starts in pain again then start again. I also have the Hemp oil for emergencies thank goodness and feel that works better for her plus the muscle relaxer she is taking. She is becoming Miss Piss and Vinegar again, ordering me around and expecting me to do what she wants only, which is a good sign but tiring.


I have also taken her to the park each day this week which has been great for both of us, I sit far away from everyone social distancing as best as possible plus using her carrier for her to lie in and I feel I need to stop with that as she is getting used to it and now not wanting to walk at all.  Drastic changes and a bit of tough love is needed here for her.


This weekend is 4th of July and the damn fireworks, I hate them so much and people have been setting them off for the past 3 weeks after 11 at night so I am not getting much sleep. I have got to the point and this sounds awful but I do not care if those that do it get hurt as they are upsetting all the pets in the area plus the Oakland Zoo spoke on the news the other day saying the animals there are freaking out.


I am putting below how I keep Layla safe during the fireworks plus all the information how to keep our pets safe.


Remember : 5th of July is one of the busiest days in the shelters as so many poor pets have escaped from the fireworks so please please keep your pets safe.


Have a wonderful 4th of July everyone, I know it won’t be like in the past because of the lock downs but lets make it as pleasurable as possible and don’t forget to wear masks.


Are you doing anything special this weekend ?
Woof with love from Layla 

Finding calm in the storm

Woof hello friends,


How are you all doing both humans and pets ?


Well we are on lock down and have no dogs at the moment staying with us but we are dealing with it the best we can and staying positive.


This lock down has caused me many triggers, but thank goodness having a wonderful network of people in my life it is easing it for me plus of course the one and only Layla. My rock.


There are two triggers I have had to deal with this week but today being Thursday am back to my normal self whatever normal is and plodding along.


The first is being a Domestic Violence Survivor and having been kept on lock down and isolated, having to walk on egg shells and so much more it really freaked me out till I realized that hey there is no one here but Layla, I can use the phone or computer, and as that slowly started sinking in I started relaxing more. 


The second was when they said stay inside, I suddenly went back in my mind to the days before the Gulf War, I was living in Israel, how we had our gas masks, a safe room with Duct tape on the window, etc so that no chemicals of any kind could enter that room, and I had 3 cats with me also. There too once we started going outside the sirens, closing ourselves in our safe room, carrying our masks with us everywhere suddenly became a routine.


So when I sit here and watch everyone panicking, hoarding and driving themselves nuts because of all the social media I came to the conclusion that I am switching off TV, jazz on only, and off the computer by dinner time wherever possible. I am also doing our daily walks,  and weather permitting taking Layla to one of my favorite tiny parks here in the city, where I sit with my coffee, Layla wanders and if there is one other person it is a lot. It is a great place for me to just relax, balance myself and enjoy the beauty of nature. 

My Heaven


With all the information floating around the internet and so many people saying different things I decided to get my resources together when it comes to our pets and am quoting here, putting a link also so that everyone understands. These are qualified resources as I do not trust everything that everyone says.


The first person I turned to was a very good friend of mine, she is an expert on viruses and discussed with her Layla whom she knows and as you can see in the photo below it says there no pets can get the virus.


The second resource I went to was my vets – I am blessed that I can email them and they were quick to reply with the below link, once again saying that pets cannot get the virus.

https://www.sfspca.org/blog/coronavirus-what-you-need-to-know-to-keep-your-pets-safe/


In an nutshell it says that there is no proof at this moment that pets can get the virus but they do remind us to wash our hands with warm soapy water for 20 seconds after walking your dog, include your pets in a disaster plan – I have a written document what should happen to Layla if something happens to me and it is with friends who have keys to my place. 


So as I end this weeks woof I want everyone to take a moment please and think of all the Domestic Violence victims who are stuck in homes and are suffering and pray that they will survive and get away from it all.


Take care everyone, stay safe and most of all remember you are not alone.
With a big virtual hug and lick from Layla 


A week with Gidget

TGIF !!1

Good Morning all, WOW we cannot believe it is like 5 more days till the new decade starts and all we can pray is that it will bring peace, love and hopefully stop abuse of all kinds all over the world.

Happy New Year Everypawdy


We have been very busy in the Layla Neighborhood as I have been looking after my neighbors year old puppy, Gidget. It has been quite an eye opener for me as I have never had a puppy so am learning a lot LOL. It is one thing reading all about it and another actually spending time with one.


I am loving it but Layla is not that impressed, as Gidget is a bundle of bouncing energy whereas Layla is the mellow quiet dog who just wants to walk, eat and sleep. 

So to share with you more about Gidget, she wrote an email to her Mom this morning and am sharing it here as it explains exactly what is happening here.

Hi Mom,


This is Gidget woofing here, how are you ? I am being a very good girl although Auntie got angry with me last night cos I decided to get into the recycle and pulled everything out all over the floor and made a mess. It was fun especially watching Auntie clean up afterwards. She is horrible cos she then sprayed the bag with stinky apple cider vinegar so I did not go close to it again. she is mean LOL.


I also make her chase me to get the harness on cos I do not like it but she will not let me go out without it, not fair.


BUT I am having lots of fun with all the toys, have killed two already LOL, Layla hides from me in her box for peace and quiet but this is the best holiday ever.


I am now resting after a long long walk this morning, lots of new smells and it was exciting but Auntie would not let me eat anything off the sidewalk and the leash she has on me keeps me really away from it all plus cos it is rope it is yucky to chew, Gidget has chewed to leashes, one since with me.


Love from your energizer bunny (Auntie calls me that)

Gidget 

So as you can all see she is keeping me on my toes and since the recycle incident she tried climbing into the fridge when I opened it, has pushed Layla off the bed and in a nutshell I am laughing a lot over it all. I think Layla is going to need a holiday after this.


Gidget is going to be with us for another 5 days and then Layla will have her peaceful house back to herself. She is being amazing though and I cannot complain.


Other than that I am once again preparing slowly for the FireWorks night which I hate and wish they would ban, it is not fair to the animals plus a waste of money which could be used on much better causes.


It also concerns me as so many shelters are at this moment over flowing thanks to the lousy humans who dump their pets before a holiday, and then are stuck with an extra load of pets that have fled from fear of the fireworks.


So please please keep your pets safe and make sure their microchip is updated, that they are indoors and most important that they are away from any open door or window so that they cannot escape.

Please keep them safe – Happy New Year

Our next blog will be in 2020, Happy New Year Everyone, May the New Year bring you lots of health, happiness and whatever else you wish for.


With a woof and love From Layla





Poison Prevention Awareness Month.

March has arrived and the rains are still here. When will they stop. The good news is that California is out of drought the last I read but the grounds are so soaked that they are not absorbing the rains anymore. One muddy mess in the dog park LOL which Madam does not like.

March is also an important month as it is Poison Prevention Awareness Month.

Please keep us safe !

This is so important and it reminds us how important it is to keep our pets safe from anything toxic which leads to illness and sometimes death. So Layla decided that this week our blog is going to focus on this subject to make sure that all our fur friends are safe both in the house and outside. The way we child proof a house and garden, we should pet proof the same way.

01. Plants can be poisonous especially azalea, oleander, castor bean, sago palm, Easter lily or yew plant material eaten by an animal can be fatal.


02.. Cleaning products – those are dangerous and should not be lying around in the house. Please store them in a place that your pets have no access to. I personally only use Apple Cider Vinegar in the house for cleaning, etc as that way I know if Layla walks on the wet floor she is safe.


03. Medications – never give your pets medications unless directed by a Vet. Keep all medications locked away so they cannot find them.


04. Chocolate is a BIG NO. 

05.  Household products like coffee grinds, play dough, fabric softener sheets and more are all toxic to your pets.


06. Automotive products – please do not leave them lying around the garage and if something spills make sure to clean up.


07. Flea Meds – all pets have different reactions to these so please check with your vet before you administer them to your pets.


08. Always read all instructions / cautions of any product before using it in your house, garden or on your pet. 

09. Keep your pets inside or away from any insecticides  Also keep your pets away from fertilizers on the grass or in the garden. All of them can be toxic. Plus make sure you store these products in a place that is inaccessible to your pets.


10. Do not use products for dogs on cats and vice versa unless it says you can. 


11. If you are uncertain about the proper usage of any product, contact the manufacturer and/or your veterinarian for instructions.ASPCA National Animal Poison Control CenterSuite 361717 Philo RoadUrbana, IL 61801

Phone : (888) 4-ANI-HELP


I am aware we do these reminders all the time but I feel by reading the above, remembering we are keeping our pets safe, no extra vet bills or expenses and most of all we have a happy healthy home.


So now that Layla has woofed all this she is going back to bed LOL,
Be safe and have a great week, With love from Layla