Living with an abuser

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TGIF !!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday is here and we are having a heat wave and it’s hot that I am melting so Mom has all the fans going, a cooling mat and lots of cold water. We have not been out much because of the heat.

I am aware that many of you have read about Baby but I wanted to share with you what it is like to live in a Domestic Violence Relationship with a dog (pet) who is your furkid.

We adopted Baby from a shelter, she was the best thing that happened to me when I was in the relationship as I finally had someone who loved me unconditionally and gave me someone to look after plus so much more.

wearing one of the sweaters I knitted

My abuser did nothing for her but buy her some clothes, and I was fortunate to get money to buy her food although when possible I would share my chicken with her. She was a cute little dog, very good and walked off leash all the time. 

The major plus with having her was my ex never walked her so I was able to get out of the house and walk her alone which was a time for me to breathe and try to relax as much as possible without the verbal abuse. She loved those walks as much as I did as there was no tension in the air. 

My ex would hit her with a newspaper whenever possible for no reason, she would be locked out of the house in the heat for no reason (I many times was locked out with her), and I was threatened all the time that if she got sick there would be no vets and she would be put down only.

I was always relieved when my ex was at work as I would do everything to spoil her and keep her as happy as possible, fearing the time when my ex would return home.

When I decided to run, and like many, I could not leave her behind, and that is why I took my time leaving as I wanted to know that she would be safe with me wherever we went. I had even packed a tent just in case and I would have slept on the streets if I had to although we were fortunate. The rest is history and I have shared with you in many other blogs.

Layla for me is a blessing, when I rescued her I vowed our house would be happy, stress free and I feel sometimes out of guilt because what I went through with Baby I spoil Layla as much as possible and have in so many ways become her slave LOL but I have no regrets either.

Last weekend we finally managed to have a little adventure and went to Golden Gate Park with a friend, the weather was cool, I had my coffee and we just relaxed outdoors in the shade which was heaven. Layla of course wandered around a bit and then she did her park thing, lie down and watch the world go by. It was the best gift I could have had just being outdoors breathing fresh air.

What Layla does not know is that we are going for an evening picnic today to the park again and I am so looking forward to it. 

So once again I am telling everyone if you know someone in an abusive relationship, reach out, tell them you are there for them if they need it,  and even if they do not immediately take up your offer, them knowing you are there is very comforting for them.

Here is the link for the National Domestic Violence Hotline :

Be safe, take care and have a wonderful weekend Layla 

12 Replies to “Living with an abuser”

  1. Wow a heat wave! Over on our side of the country it’s getting very cold – I’ve even heard talk of potentially some snow soon. I’m glad you and Baby were able to escape that horrible situation. I know it would just break my heart to see my little ones being treated badly. I hope you and Layla have a good weekend.

    • Michelle it is so hot here it is ridiculous, send some cold over please. I was fortunate and it breaks my heart also and that is why I speak out praying some victims will see the post and know that there is help for them.
      Have a great weekend too

  2. A heatwave? Wow, it’s getting colder here day after day.
    I’m glad that you included the importance of keeping the necessary documentation for your dog – especially ownership paperwork that includes your name. I have a couple of different friends who left their abusers with their pets only to have the abuser try to argue that the pet was legally theirs (in an attempt to maintain control). Having that documentation made all the difference.

    • Britt the documentation is so important for everything so that the abuser cannot control and argue for those items especially pets and am happy your friends were able to get
      away with their pets

  3. The world needs courageous advocates who speak out or this will continue.

    People need to remember that it is not poor deprived people who cause domestic violence issues, it is often middle class people who cannot express their own harm or spite and take it out on others causing so much damage.

    You will be a fine advocate for others who need help and I will share your posts!

  4. I hope that your ex never has another pet. It is so sad that your ex treated both you and Baby so badly! Thanks for sharing your experience and speaking out to help raise awareness.

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