Tag Archives: #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Good Morning,

October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is very close to my heart as I am a proud survivor.

I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped.  If I had left my dog I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could run, we ran.

She since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed it was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my heart to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me.  Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us.

Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.

  1. Threats – The abuser will threaten to kill or abuse the pet during the relationship or if left behind. (I stayed in mine to protect Baby.)
  2. Isolation – Refusing vet care for the pet. Isolating the victim that the pet also suffers as it is not socialized with other dogs. It is as if you are living in a cage.
  3. Emotional Abuse – Giving away or killing the pet to take away her source of unconditional love.
  4. Economical Abuse – Refusing to permit her to buy pet food or vet care
  5. Legal Abuse – Custody battles over pets. This is heart breaking as they file charges against the victim claiming theft if she leaves with the pet.
  6. Intimidation – Harming or killing the pet and then saying to the victim “Next time it will be you…..” They do this to family and friends who assist with the victim and pets getting away.
  7. Denying and blaming – Blaming the victim or the pet when something happens.

An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.

So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.

Today things have changed and there are Domestic Violence shelters that are allowing pets or they will know where your pet can go and be safe.

Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.

Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from

Layla

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline Phone number : 800-799-7233

Red Rover – they help Domestic Violence Victims and their pets https://redrover.org/domestic-violence-and-pets/

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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TGIF !!!!

October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is a topic that is very close to my heart as I am a lucky survivor.

I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped.  If I had left her I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could we ran.

Baby since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed from IMHA, was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my doors to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me.  Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us.

Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.

An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.

So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.

Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.

October is also the National Month of Adopt a Shelter Dog Month so reach out to a Shelter and give a dog a new home, as I always say about Layla – from pound to princess.

Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from

Layla

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Posted on by — 14 Comments ↓

Good Morning,

October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is a topic that is very close to my heart as I am a proud survivor.

I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped.  If I had left her I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could ran, we ran.

Baby since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed it was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my doors to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me.  Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us.

Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.

  1. Threats – The abuser will threaten to kill or abuse the pet during the relationship or if left behind. (I stayed in mine as to protect Baby.)
  2. Isolation – Refusing vet care for the pet. Isolating the victim that the pet also suffers as it is not socialized with other dogs. It is as if you are living in a cage.
  3. Emotional Abuse – Giving away or killing the pet to take away her source of unconditional love.
  4. Economical Abuse – Refusing to permit her to buy pet food or vet care
  5. Legal Abuse – Custody battles over pets. This is heart breaking as they file charges against the victim claiming theft if she leaves with the pet.
  6. Intimidation – Harming or killing the pet and then saying to the victim “Next time it will be you…..” They do this to family and friends who assist with the victim and pets getting away.
  7. Denying and blaming – Blaming the victim or the pet when something happens.

An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.

So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.

Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.

October is also the National Month of Adopt a Shelter Dog Month so reach out to a Shelter and give a dog a new home, as I always say about Layla – from pound to princess.

Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from

Layla

 

October is over but our voice will never be silenced

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TGIF !!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe November is around the corner, this year is going too fast but hopefully it is a good sign and our lives will go back to normal soon. This hibernating is getting too much.


With October ending it is the ending of Domestic Violence Awareness Month although we must keep speaking out, using our voice for those that are being abused, whether humans or pets as they need our voices. 


The end of October means Halloween which is not being celebrated this year the way it normally is, my heart does go out to the kids that are missing out but am sure parents are relieved there will be no sugar rushes and fighting over candies.


Halloween can be dangerous for our pets so please look after them, make sure they are safe and do not get into anything toxic.

Plus please keep your black cats safe from the lunatics.


Happy Halloween Everyone, Take care and be safe,

Layla and Me 

Pets in Shelters

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Happy Friday to all our friends, the week is over and the weekend is beginning phew.


As most of you know I am doing at the moment a workshop to become a Domestic Violence Advocate and as this month is Domestic Violence Awareness month I want to discuss having a pet in a shelter.


This is a subject that I have seen discussed on many groups on Facebook, and how important it is for a survivor to have her pet with her in the shelter so am going to share my story here.


I was fortunate to be able to take Baby into the shelter with me towards the end of my stay, before I moved over to another shelter and then transitional housing.


It was fantastic having her with me again and I was really blessed but people also need to understand Shelter policies also so I do understand why shelters say no. They are not being selfish but in a way practical and this is why :


01.There are children in shelters who are going through trauma and might be afraid of pets 

02. Allergies from pets

03.  The shelter staff are overloaded already so if you are running around sorting out your life you are adding another burden to the staff as your pet is in your room.

04. Shelters have curfews so if your pet needs to go potty at night you cannot take him/her out.

05. Not all shelters can you give you a single room so you might be sharing with someone who does not like pets.


When I was in the shelter with Baby I took her out just before the curfew started, I had my own room which made it easier but her food and water was in my room, she was not allowed in the public areas because of the reasons I listed above, when we did go out she was on leash and was on leash when we got back till we got to my room.


This is food for thought and that is why in so many ways I feel there should be some kind of program for the pets to ease it for everyone and I do know that some shelters are slowly opening their doors to pets.


Would love to hear your input on this.


Last Friday Layla and I with friends went for a picnic in Golden Gate Park. It was a beautiful evening, relaxing, good food and lots of laughs. It was just what we needed and a beautiful start to a weekend.

What I did for Layla’s food was instead of taking her home made food I took with me Freeze Dried Kibbles which she thinks are treats from Raw Paws Pet Food – she loves them. The flavor I had was Beef and then I had with me as a treat their Freeze Dried Minnows which she cannot get enough of.

You can see their awesome products on their website plus you have a coupon for shopping : Layla15 – Happy Shopping

https://www.rawpawspetfood.com/


This weekend our plans are to go to the Shih Tzu Meetup which I am really looking forward to as it is a different park and I love that park as it is so big you can do social distancing.


Have a wonderful weekend everyone, be safe

With a woof and love from Layla

Running from a Domestic Violence Relationship

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TGIF !!!


As you know October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am sharing my story today again as it is 10 years since Baby passed away and feel, she being my hero should be remembered.


It is easy to tell victims to run but it is a complicated process and can be very difficult especially if your abuser controls the finances so something I always tell victims is hide somewhere in the house or outdoors if safe, a small bag with your documents and whatever cash you can save. Put in that bag whatever your abuser will not not notice is missing as to not cause anymore friction in the house. 

If you can and a friend or family are aware of the situation talk to them about helping you get away if you do not have a car and try to carefully plan whatever you can ahead which will help making the hard decision a little bit easier.


Please note that there is a shortage of rooms in shelters so try have a back up plan so that you do not land up on the streets and try find someone to take your pets that they will be safe. An abuser will not hesitate to harm your pets if you run and they are our furkids so we need to make sure they are safe.


Baby was my hero, she had kept me alive during the relationship, because of her I was able to go for walks and so much more. She kept me alive and thank goodness I had her in my life. 

When I ran I was fortunate to have a friend who picked me up from the house with my dog and hid me at her place till I could get out of the city. I did not have money as my ex controlled the finances so whatever I had was very limited but I sold jewellery to help me buy a ticket to get out of the city where I was living.


Upon arriving in San Francisco I found that shelters did not allow dogs so a wonderful Domestic Violence Organization stepped in to foster her while I was sorting myself out. Since I ran things are changing and slowly pets are being included and the DV organizations are talking more about pets and assisting those that have them.  


She joined me in the shelter about 2 months after I got there, stayed with me in  transitional housing and then we finally moved to our own home, a place to live happily with no drama, a peaceful happy home. 
About 3 months after we got into our own home, she suddenly contracted IMHA and within 48 hours passed away, 5 October 2010. It was one of the hardest days in my life as my angel had gone and I was left alone trying to sort my life out. 


My home was empty, lonely and I felt that it was not fair that when I finally could give her everything she left me but as a friend of mine said to me : She came into your life when you both needed each other (she was a rescue) and left you when you were safe so that you could open your home to a new furkid.


Three months later it happened and I rescued Layla and the rest is history.
So what I have decided to do is to give back and at the moment I am doing a workshop to become a Domestic Violence Advocate so that I can hopefully help others, pets included and be their voice.


If you know anyone that is in an abusive relationship, reach out, offer help and then let them decide what they want to do, BUT if they know that you are there for them and their pets it will hopefully make the decision a lot easier.


Take care everyone, be safe and remember you are not alone,
With a woof and love from Layla

The Domestic Violence Hotline : https://www.thehotline.org/

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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October has arrived, an important month in my calendar as it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a month when Layla wears her purple harness to make a statement.


I am a proud Domestic Violence Survivor and this month we speak out about abuse, violence against women and children and by doing so we pray that if one victim reads our blog and it helps her we have done a Mitzvah. (Mitzvah is Hebrew for a good deed).

Domestic Violence has been going on for years, through the centuries, but it is only in the last 40 years or so that organizations started forming to help victims, give them a safe place, assistance with starting their life over and so much more.These women that work in the different organizations I call heroes as they do such amazing work they deserve a big shout out.


When we speak about it, we must not forget that many pets are stuck in the middle of Domestic Violence relationships and they do not have a voice so we need to be theirs. 


Many women stay in the relationships for their pets safety and I was one of them, I would not leave my pet behind as it would mean me abandoning my pet who was like a child to me. She had kept me going through it all so how could I leave her !


Unfortunately having a pet does make it harder as there are very few programs/shelters that accept pets and that is something that needs to be changed. As I always say if mothers would not leave their kids why should furmoms leave their furkids behind. 


If you know anyone in a relationship, reach out to them so that they know there is someone there for them, give them the below link :

Domestic Violence Hotline : https://www.thehotline.org/

You cannot force a person to leave the relationship but letting them know they are not alone, is sowing the seed in their brain that it is possible.


Please take care everyone, be safe and most of all remember it might be scary but in the long run life becomes easier, happier and you are free,

With a woof and love Layla 

The weekend has arrived

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TGIF !!!!!!!


It has been a long week and phew thank goodness the weekend has arrived. I just hope there will be no more tremors and I can relax a bit. Yes I did check my earthquake kit again LOL.


Last Saturday we went to Bark in the park K9 Heroes event in our park which of course Madam sat in her backpack and I did the carrying. She was not happy with all the noise especially the jets flying over head so on Sunday we just lay low and relaxed in the house which she was happy with. I had the Jazz going to keep it as calm as possible plus to block out the jets. So I spoiled her with lots of treats.

Talking about treats we got some new goodies to try out. They come from one of our favorite local stores – Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Food Store. What she got was some frozen raw chicken necks and I must say she is going to town on them. Loves them and sits on the bed moaning to get more although I am only giving her one a day.

Madam will not  sit still for anything when she gets one so sorry
 about this pic


Jeffrey’s is a local raw pet food store, they prepare their food daily in San Francisco sourcing local ingredients, quality ingredients: fresh, raw, quality meats, free from hormones and antibiotics, fresh organic vegetables, and their own vitamin mineral mix. They make food for both dogs and cats.

You can read all about them on their website https://www.jeffreyspets.com/

I also had to compensate Layla big time as she got punished LOL with a bath this week, lying in the park with all the leaves falling had made her dusty and itchy, so it was needed and she was happy to come home and chew on another neck.




As you all know October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month we are sharing important info all the time to remind everyone to be safe, both humans and animals.


So that has been our week, Madam as usual being spoiled and me working hard to keep her happy, what a perfect balance.


Have a wonderful weekend all,With a woof and love from Layla

October is a busy month

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TGIF !!!!! 


As you know October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month where we pray for all the victims, both humans and animals that they will be able to get away from the abuse safely.


So before I start with what has been happening in the Layla Neighborhood I want to remind everyone what to do if your pet is threatened. It is so important to remember this as this way you will know you have proof that your abuser abused your pets too which will make it easier for you to get them away.

October is a month where I think and miss Baby a lot as she was part of that dark chapter of my life but another reason I miss her is because October is filled with so many Halloween events which I was never able to do with her so I try to do as many as possible with Layla, and I often question myself am I doing it for her or out of guilt not being able to do it all with Baby.


Last weekend we went to a great Halloween Event held by one of the Paw Barkeries in San Francisco. It was so much fun with so many dogs and costumes I could not keep up with them all. Of course there were loads of treats so Layla had a party munching away all the time LOL.

I am putting up some of the photos here of some of the costumes.

There were also different vendors and an introduction to insects from a non profit that is trying to save all insects.

As I always do I used a backpack for Layla to keep her safe with everyone pushing and walking around. This is a new backpack that I received from the company called Mr. Peanut’s Pet Products. It was so comfy to carry Layla in, she was so happy and one thing I really loved about it was that when I sat down to have coffee I could lie it on its side and she could lie down and have a nap. 

The backpack is PETA certified, made of vegan leatherette and faux fleece bedding pads. It is a great backpack, light weight, weighing only 2.4 lbs, waterproof which is great for when it rains, has really great ventilation with breathable mesh on 3 sides, removable fleece travel bed and compartments for treats, poop bags or medications. It comes with a 2 in 1 feeder travel set, 12 oz duel sided collapsible bowl and an amazing 20 oz Water Bottle. It is also airline approved which for those that fly with their pets it is just perfect.


They also have a program that pays forward so when you shop from them you are supporting a shelter also, and businesses that do that for me are a winner.

For more information about their products which are socially aware, ecologically produced and safe for your pets you can visit their website : https://www.mrpeanutspremiumproducts.com/

And before I forget to all our cat friends their products are for cats too.


While I am typing all this there are jets flying over head practicing for Fleet Weekend, I personally think a waste of money which could be used for so many non profit organizations that are struggling. It also reminds me of the October 1973 war when I was sitting in school with jets flying over head protecting Israel. 


So as you can see October is full of memories for me, but am at this same time trying to make great new fun memories which will not wipe out the bad but helps make the month look good instead.


Have a wonderful weekend everyone,With a love and woof from Layla


Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Happy Friday Everyone,


October has begun and this month is a very important month for me as we will be talking about Domestic Violence and how it affects both Humans and Pets. This is also the reason I am such a strong advocate against abuse for both Humans and Animals.

To start off the month I decided to once again share my story, as I am a survivor, a proud survivor that got away and now has a voice to speak up.

I met Baby, a tan Chiweenie, while I was visiting the SPCA in Southern California. She had just been surrendered by her family. It was love at first sight. Her loving eyes and beautiful face just made me want to hold her and keep her. They kept her for 48 hours to spay her and check her out, and then I fetched her.

Baby changed my life from the moment she came to live with my now ex-husband and me.At home, I was a victim of domestic violence on a daily basis. With Baby around, I finally had an excuse to get out of the house, by telling my ex I was taking her for a walk.I went for long walks with her, which helped me get away from the stress I was submerged in day after day.My life was hard. My ex controlled the money, the computer, the phone, everything. He didn’t give me access to bank accounts, I was not allowed to answer the telephone, I could not check e-mails, not even the mail box.I was isolated from the outside world, including my friends and family. When I was allowed to talk to them, he sat right next to me, so I could not say much. He timed me when I went to the supermarket or went shopping. If I was a bit longer than expected, I got yelled at. His constant emotional abuse was to me harder than any physical abuse, since body wounds heal quicker than emotions. I was walking on eggshells all the time.

No matter what I did, to him it always looked wrong. Baby kept me going with her loving personality, her wanting cuddles, her unconditional love. And the moment we had a chance, I packed up with her and ran. We found shelter with a friend, who hid us until we could get our lives organized.We were penniless, but I knew in my heart that all would fall slowly into place once we were safe and by ourselves.

Upon arrival in San Francisco, Baby was fostered by some wonderful women from the Domestic Violence Organization Shalom Bayit (Their link is on my links page) and when possible she became the first dog accepted into a domestic violence shelter. (In another post I will discuss the pros and cons of having a pet in a Shelter)
I finally found our own little place we called home and were living a peaceful happy life with lots of laughter, fun and so much more.

10/5/10 Baby, my little trooper, my angel, my everything, grew her wings and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. She had contracted IMHA and within 48 hours passed. It was one of the hardest days of my life, one I will never forget as she had kept me going during my darkest hours.

My friend said something to me which sticks in my mind “Baby came into your life at a time you both needed each other, and left when she knew you were safe so that you could rescue another”


In January 2011 Layla arrived, and the rest is history.


If you are in a Domestic Violence Situation you can go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline :
Tel : 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or their website :

https://www.thehotline.org/

If you are in the situation we were in, know that where there is a will there is a way. Against all odds, Baby and I did it. You can do it, too and today compared to when I did it there is so much more assistance out there for you.


So we are asking everyone this month to share our story as it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and by sharing maybe we can help others.


Please be safe, Baby and Layla’s Mom