October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Good Morning,

October has arrived and with it the Month of Domestic Violence Awareness. This is very close to my heart as I am a proud survivor.

I am one of the lucky ones that managed to get away with my little dog, hid at a friend and then moved to a new city where we were both helped.  If I had left my dog I know my ex would have carried on abusing her so the minute I could run, we ran.

She since has passed away, but she was my inspiration, my hero, my trooper and my lifeline through those dark days, and when she passed it was when I was finally in my own home so she knew I was safe, and could then open my heart to a new pup, and Layla arrived to live with me.  Layla wears a tag that says: Shelter Survivor which speaks for both of us.

Today I am not going to talk about me, but “The Power and Control Wheel” of Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence. This gives us a better understanding as to what happens behind closed doors, and why so many victims stay in the relationships.

  1. Threats – The abuser will threaten to kill or abuse the pet during the relationship or if left behind. (I stayed in mine to protect Baby.)
  2. Isolation – Refusing vet care for the pet. Isolating the victim that the pet also suffers as it is not socialized with other dogs. It is as if you are living in a cage.
  3. Emotional Abuse – Giving away or killing the pet to take away her source of unconditional love.
  4. Economical Abuse – Refusing to permit her to buy pet food or vet care
  5. Legal Abuse – Custody battles over pets. This is heart breaking as they file charges against the victim claiming theft if she leaves with the pet.
  6. Intimidation – Harming or killing the pet and then saying to the victim “Next time it will be you…..” They do this to family and friends who assist with the victim and pets getting away.
  7. Denying and blaming – Blaming the victim or the pet when something happens.

An abuser will want to control everything, and if he or she does not have that, we, the humans, kids or pets become the victims of his or her anger, although he/she will never admit it.

So when people reach out and talk about wanting to leave a Domestic Violence relationship but cannot leave their pets, these are some of the reasons and I from experience would have rather carried on suffering the abuse to make sure Baby was safe, than left her in a house where she would suffer.

Today things have changed and there are Domestic Violence shelters that are allowing pets or they will know where your pet can go and be safe.

Pets do not understand abuse the way we do and they should not have to suffer at the hands of an abuser of any kind as they give us the unconditional love and loyalty that unfortunately humans do not do.

Be safe, have a wonderful week, with a woof of love from



National Domestic Violence Hotline Phone number : 800-799-7233

Red Rover – they help Domestic Violence Victims and their pets https://redrover.org/domestic-violence-and-pets/


12 Replies to “October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month”

  1. New Zealand is starting to develop shelters where animals are welcome but it has been a long time coming. How many people stay because their pets need protection too? It is an important issue that is often overlooked – pets help a family’s mental wellbeing and give them hope with a purr or a wagging tail when times are at their worst.

    • Marjorie that is fantastic news and hopefully it will start happening all over the world and it will make it so much easier for a victim to run knowing that their fur kid
      is safe with them. There is nothing like a happy waggy tail.

  2. I sure can’t see any reason for any kind of abuse ever, it’s horrible. We once helped a friend get out of an abusive situation, I’d never tell you how, but it worked out best for her. Thanks for joining our Thankful Thursday Blog Hop and thanks for the well wishes for our sweet Brian.

    • Brian thank you so much for helping your friend, if friends get together and help it eases it for the victim. Once again also thank you so much for your Trankful
      Thursday Blog Hop and we praying Brian will get better soon

  3. You and Baby were so brave to run and escape your abuser. Thank you for using your platform to talk about this important issue and letting people know how they can escape an abuser safely with their fur babies.

    Baby certainly had a goal to get you to a safe place. Then Layla and you have this new journey. It’s absolutely wonderful! I love how you carry on Baby’s memory.

    This is an excellent article! I’m sharing it with all my pet parents and hoping that anyone in a dangerous situation will learn from your experience. Thank you!

    • Terri thank you for your kind words, we need to speak up as their are so many suffering both humans and pets and they need to live safely. Baby was my hero and I miss her
      daily but Layla and I rescued each other also. Thank you for sharing

  4. You are such a brave woman! I’m so glad you could be brave for both you and Baby & get out of that awful situation. I hope many more domestic violence shelters will allow pets so more people and pets can be saved. Great job of sharing these important points. It’s hard to believe but this is exactly why so many abused people stay in terrible situations.

    • Thank you Cathy and I am very blessed that I managed to get away with my lil baby. We have to keep speaking out and sharing the info so if there is someone in a DV relationship
      they will know they are not alone and there is a way.

  5. Bless you and Baby for being able to escape such an awful situation. You, indeed, are a survivor, and I am glad Baby was your companion with you during such a pivotal time. I’m so sorry you had to endure such abuse, and I commend you for sharing your story and explaining how abuse can look behind closed doors and spreading awareness. It’s so important victims and survivors know they deserve so much better, and a new chapter can begin with taking one foot out the door. It’s one of the scariest but bravest and loving things one can do for themselves and their pet.

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